That Fucking Song

Sometimes it's not enough to quote a silly, out-of-place lyric.
Sometimes a song is so bad that nothing but the entire thing, with line by line commentary will do.
That is was "That Fucking Song" is all about, it's a new feature, I hope you like it, although it's pretty infrequent that a song is this bad.
Today's "That Fucking Song" is "Turn My Swag On (Mega Remix version)" from the extended version of Lil' Wayne's Urban Dictionary Mixtape. Commentary will be in italics.

Listen along here!

Chorus
I hopped up out da bed,
turn my swag on,
took a look in da mirror said wassup,
yeeeeea im gettin money (ooooohhh)

This is a serviceable chorus, it's not the problem, the problem is every rapper on this song. You'll see.

Verse 1 - Soulja Boy
count so much money everyday its gettin my arms swole/
my swaggas out of space similar to a wormhole/
dunkin' on the game, like Stephon Marbury/
I got a red Aston Martin, i call it my strawberry/

Ok, ok, stop stop stop. This line is a disaster. You ever here a line where you know the rapper felt like they had a really good line so they had to come up with something, anything, to rhyme it with so they could use it? Both of these are like that second line, which of these did he think was really impressive?

all work no play dis is my playground/
rappers on tour but they ridin' the greyhound/
but they don't stay round now,/
my lambo got surround sound/
i'm hotter than plasma,/
lava,/
magma/
knick knack patty whack,/
give a dog a bone/
i'm like get back gimmie that,/
give the king his throne/
you like knick knack patty whack/
give a dog a bone/
im like get back gimmie that/
give the king his throne/

So not only is he repeating the same line twice but he's taking from nursery rhymes, which is a techinque that I think only very, very few rappers should do (pretty much just Method Man). Additionally this is not the best idea for a rapper for whom the main criticism is his youth.

honey i am home/
walkin to the dealership/
add another one to my collection of pink slips/
i am it/
and don't forget/
this is the remix.
(chrous)

It's like he really just ran out of things to say, rhyming it and forget like that. That actually sounds pretty likely. But Soulja Boy Tellem is not the main problem with this song, oh no. It would be easy to take the rap-intellectual's role and blame everything on him, but I actually think he has some merit here (there will be a blog about this at some point). Just not much.

Verse 2 - Lil' Wayne
ehemm, swagga on a zillion,/
i'm Louis V down like a Louis V chamillion/
house so big like i live in a building,/
no chandeliers, i got guns hanging from the ceiling/
brand new car i divorced the top/
see homie u a square im a porsha box/
long hair, don't care holla back bitch/
im in the bathroom takin me a rich nigga shit/
gangsta to the bristle,/
swagga unofficial/
im the shit and you, you justa maggot on a tissue/
better tell em i'm hotter than da arizona missile/
white Benz chrome wheels like a napkin on a nickel/
young moola baby, weezy baby/
don't forget da weezy, baby/
black card, boy, make you throw away that visa baby/
you ain't on the planet i'm on and i never leave my swagga at home.
(chorus)

Ok, typical Lil' Wayne stuff, a couple similies that don't quite work, nothing amazing or horrible here. I'm kinda just getting the idea that he doesn't care anymore, I guess he doesn't have to; he's Lil' Wayne.

Verse 3 - Jim Jones
I'm thirsty/
I'm hungry/
I need a big, big plate of that money/

Yes, really. he really says this. this is how he chooses to start his verse. Jim Jones is fucking terrible. Hold on, it gets worse/better.

We party/
Ferrari/
we drop the top and we laugh hardy hardy/

UGH

I'm a dreamer/
Shoulda seen us/
flooded to water so much I need FEMA/

...Ok, that's it. Blog over. This is just too bad. Fuck you Jim Jones, you are the worst thing. The rest of the song actually isn't so terrible compared to this, Jadakiss' verse is actually pretty good. Maybe I'll finish this later when I'm not so fed up with listening to Jim Jones.
Fuck you too buddy