Explaining Rap Lyrics to White People

So, I'm encountering a little problem with my whole "Out of Context Rap Lyrics" category. Whenever I'm listening to my music now I'm keeping an ear open for things that sound completely ridiculous out of the context of the song they're in. However, most of the things that I think might be funny to my audience I dismiss immediately because I know better. It's just that when you have an encyclopedic knowledge of the ever-growing field of hip-hop slang cultivated by years of music-listening, it's hard to feign ignorance.

Here, let me give you a few concrete examples:

In Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's classic hit, Crank Dat there are a lot of lines that appear to make no sense. One in particular that stands out to the uninitiated is

"I got me some Bathing Apes"

A white person might think "Goodness, this young man is retarded" or "So that's what these rappers are into now? Monkeys trained to wash them? No thank you, I am going to go listen to Nickelback instead!"

However, I know that Bathing Apes are a Japanese designer sneaker brand which has recently gained popularity in the hip-hop culture, mainly because they look fucking sick.

Another. In T. I.'s 2007 hit "You Know What It Is" he says "I love that llama". Again, white people are stumped. "Did that individual just proclaim his support of animal rights or take a stance against llama cruelty?" or "Does he really own a llama, like Michael Jackson" they say, in their annoying white people voices.

A llama is a gun you guys.

So my knowledge of hip-hop culture is actually interfering with my ability to write a funny rap blog. Ironic, huh?

I mean, not that you guys would notice if I didn't know these things. I feel like my likely audience for this blog is basically reading to reconfirm for themselves that rap is meritless and to laugh at the stupid rappers. I don't want this blog to be about that. I love rap music and I want you to too.

The take home point is, in the interest of educating white people, I'm going to do a series of entries explaining rap culture and slang. Droppin' Knowledge.

To make up for this long and serious post, have some more out of context rap lyrics. I tried really hard to make sure these make no sense to anyone.