"I've got Genital Warts"-Eminem
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Airbrushed pictures of hip-hop celebrities next to quotes from their songs
"I've got Genital Warts"-Eminem
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
It was the Best of Rhymes, it was the Worst of Rhymes
There are some rhyme schemes that can only be pulled off if you know what you're doing, and even then only very sparingly. A notable example of this is the 'rhyming a word with itself' technique. Good rappers know that this can sound lazy and effortless, so they don't do it unless they're making some kind of clever play on words or using a different meaning each time.
Positive Examples of this:
"I'm not a businessman/
I'm a business, man"
-Jay-Z
"We don't throw our hands up like we don't care anymore/
We throw our hands up like we don't care anymore."
-POS
Here Jay-Z is using this technique to contrast between what he's not and what he is and he does it by using the same words to mean different things. POS does something slightly different, taking a traditional hip-hop stalwart (throw your hands in the air like you just don't care) and contrasting it with throwing your hands up in disgust and giving up. The important thing both of these lines have going is contrast. If you don't have some kind of contrast then you are simply rhyming a word with itself.
Mediocre Examples of this:
"I'm into distribution, I'm like Atlantic/
I got them motherfuckers flyin' cross the Atlantic."
-Rick Ross
"I wanna get up in her Bush like Dubya/
Tryin' get up in her bush like double ya."
-Rhymefest
Rick Ross kind of gets it, as does Rhymefest, but it's really not quite right. In the case of Rick Ross, it's really more of a problem with the way he says it. He delivers this line as if it was really clever, putting an accent in "Atlantic" in a different place the second time he said it even though it's the exact same word and pronounced the exact same way. In one case he is talking about an airline, in the next the ocean that that airline is named for. Not as impressive as you think Rick Ross. At least Rhymefest makes an honest effort, the word(s) he ends his line with are in fact different. But in this case it's so obvious that he just wanted to use the line "Up in her bush like Dubya" (referring to our former president, 9/11/, never forget) that he really just said "fuck it" about the second line and figured the refence was clever enough to distract us from the fact that he said "double ya" which means basically nothing on it's own.
Of course the worst examples of this are when a rapper just clearly does not give a shit and simply has completely unrhyming verses and throws the same word at the end of each line. This is a practice not worth dignifying with examples (especially cause i can't think of any off the top of my head right now). My point is, blap fans, don't put up with this lazy kind of writing. Demand better!
"Rappers, we are watching you/
we ain't gon' stop watching you"
Positive Examples of this:
"I'm not a businessman/
I'm a business, man"
-Jay-Z
"We don't throw our hands up like we don't care anymore/
We throw our hands up like we don't care anymore."
-POS
Here Jay-Z is using this technique to contrast between what he's not and what he is and he does it by using the same words to mean different things. POS does something slightly different, taking a traditional hip-hop stalwart (throw your hands in the air like you just don't care) and contrasting it with throwing your hands up in disgust and giving up. The important thing both of these lines have going is contrast. If you don't have some kind of contrast then you are simply rhyming a word with itself.
Mediocre Examples of this:
"I'm into distribution, I'm like Atlantic/
I got them motherfuckers flyin' cross the Atlantic."
-Rick Ross
"I wanna get up in her Bush like Dubya/
Tryin' get up in her bush like double ya."
-Rhymefest
Rick Ross kind of gets it, as does Rhymefest, but it's really not quite right. In the case of Rick Ross, it's really more of a problem with the way he says it. He delivers this line as if it was really clever, putting an accent in "Atlantic" in a different place the second time he said it even though it's the exact same word and pronounced the exact same way. In one case he is talking about an airline, in the next the ocean that that airline is named for. Not as impressive as you think Rick Ross. At least Rhymefest makes an honest effort, the word(s) he ends his line with are in fact different. But in this case it's so obvious that he just wanted to use the line "Up in her bush like Dubya" (referring to our former president, 9/11/, never forget) that he really just said "fuck it" about the second line and figured the refence was clever enough to distract us from the fact that he said "double ya" which means basically nothing on it's own.
Of course the worst examples of this are when a rapper just clearly does not give a shit and simply has completely unrhyming verses and throws the same word at the end of each line. This is a practice not worth dignifying with examples (especially cause i can't think of any off the top of my head right now). My point is, blap fans, don't put up with this lazy kind of writing. Demand better!
"Rappers, we are watching you/
we ain't gon' stop watching you"
Monday, May 11, 2009
Background Noise
We all know that rap is about rapping, and we recently learned that production is important too. The voice over the beat is what we're supposed to be listening to. But there are more than two layers to most rap songs. What, generally, is in that middle layer, between music and lyrics? Rap noises.
In this exciting new feature I take a listen to those seldom scrutinized noises and record them for you, the reader.
Today's song is Hypnotize by Young Jeezy (who is probably the best person to do this with to be honest).
Special thanks to NCES.ed.gov's KID ZONE GRAPH CREATOR for the wonderful graph.
In this exciting new feature I take a listen to those seldom scrutinized noises and record them for you, the reader.
Today's song is Hypnotize by Young Jeezy (who is probably the best person to do this with to be honest).
Special thanks to NCES.ed.gov's KID ZONE GRAPH CREATOR for the wonderful graph.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Airburshed pictures of hip-hop celebrities next to quotes from their songs
"Imagine if I was dude and hittin' cats from the back/With no strings attached/
Yeah nigga, picture that!"
-Lil' Kim
Monday, April 27, 2009
Barriers to Entry: What the fuck did he just say? & That Fucking Song part II: A rambling blog title if you've ever seen one
Barriers to entry is a new series in which I explore and attempt to discredit some of the reasons people avoid rap music. Today's installment dovetails nicely with my "That Fucking Song" post a couple days ago. Sorry for the unwieldy title, but I think it was worth it to try the "really long title' joke once.
Some people say to me, when I ask them why they don't like rap music
"HUUUURGH I'M INCREDIBLY STUPID DURF FURFLE SCUMPF"
Just kidding folks, they only say that very rarely. The kinds of things they do say are
"I just don't get it"
or
"The lyrics are so bad"
which are both obvious codes for
"I can't understand black people when they talk and am afraid to admit this"
Don't worry lil rap neophyte, I'm here to explain why it's ok to not completely catch the meaning of every word in your favorite club banger.
1) You are not supposed to understand everything. Really, they know that they're not speaking articulately, they could if they wanted to. The way that people rap is more an expression of their chosen style and flow than it is about their actual ability to form coherent sentences. It's an artistic decision, if you will.
2) A lack of understanding is desirable. Music sometimes loses it's allure when you know exactly what every line is. This is why eminem, for example, blows. You listen to the album once, you hear exactly what he's saying, every word of it, you laugh at two or three of the jokes, and then you never listen again. Why? Because the mystery is completely gone. Most people don't rap along to their favorite songs the same way they sing (I do this, it's embarrassing to everyone involved), so there has to be some kind of incentive to listen to something a few times. When every time you listen to a song you pick up a little more of what it's about, or understand some previously unknown slang, or catch a funny punchline that you previously missed, you get that joy of discovery and you want to listen again.
3) It's not that important. People over-emphasize the position of lyrics in music in general, but especially in rap. I could listen to Timbaland's Shock Value all day, not because I enjoy hearing Timbaland oafishly bumble the vocals, but because the beats are sick. As judgmental as it may sound, a lot of rap music is not made for depth listening, it's made for the club, the car, the parking lot; someplace where you just need something that sounds good in the background.
4) Sometimes it really just makes no sense at all. Take a line from Turn my Swag on, in this song soulja boy says this:
"Walk into the dealership
add another wheel to my collection of pink ships"
You can kind of figure out what he's saying; he's buying another car. But I unequivocally assure you that Pink Ship is not slang anywhere for car. He is just making it up because he needs something rhyme with dealership and he's lyrically talentless. The thing is, by it's very nature, rap needs to rhyme. In order to get the message across you have to force some pretty poor word choices. This is also the reason for some of the development of slang and the proliferation of nicknames. Do you think it's a coincidence that 'Crunk' rhymes with 'drunk'?
Now that we've got that all cleared up, I have a confession to make. I stopped writing that TFS article not because I was fed up with Jim Jones (although this was a major contributing factor), it was because I was transcribing the lyrics and I couldn't understand the fucking noises coming out of him. After serious reflection I've realized this is nothing to be ashamed of and have reasoned that Jim Jones is just using nonsense syllables to desperately fill his verse. Or maybe he's just referencing something I am not remembering or aware of. It happens even to the best of us (me, I'm the best of us), sometimes you just don't get something.
So, here, following this sentance, is the rest of "THAT FUCKING SONG"
Verse 3 - Jim Jones
I didn't note this before, but here the chorus changes dreadfully to more Jim Jones
I woke up kinda bad/
From the champagne/
Said prayer, thank god for wakin up/
Yeahhh, we gettin' money.
I hopped in my Ferarri/
Dropped the top/
I hit the club and told my nigger turn it up/
Yeahhh, we gettin' money.
I'm thirsty/
I'm hungry/
I need a big, big plate of that money/
We party/
Ferrari/
we drop the top and we laugh hardy hardy/
I am seriously considering stopping this again, but I press on for you! For the humble would-be rap listener who quivers in the darkness with fear. Fear not little one, I will be brave for you. I will openly admit I do not know what the fuck he's saying here.
I'm a dreamer/
Shoulda seen us/
flooded to water so much I need FEMA/
It goes Jim Jones tell em'/
Kal! Go! That's my DJ/
(this is it, the line I don't understand. Please let me know if you have an idea of what these here syllables mean)
Stepped up in the spot/
Self had it rockin' up for sheezey.
(chorus)
Verse 4 - Maino
I get bulletproof love/
All the thugs love me/
hands down i'm the realist nigga in the country/
Alright, who the fuck is this guy, I've never heard of him and he's marginal at best. I wish people would stop claiming to be the best. (Unless they're Jay-Z)
your arms to short you lames could never touch me/
you really think I'm gay?/
oh yeah? Go head and fuck me./
Ahahaha, did someone write a blog about Maino and make him upset? But seriously this reads like a craigslist M4M personal ad. He is literally inviting you to come and fuck him. No Homo tho.
I'm rollin'/
This is my life, it's not a song/
This is another cliche I could do without frankly.
I really pack guns as long as my right arm/
I'm a problem/
Oh I get it, he's Everyrapper, a rapper made up of nothing but cliche's.
can't solve em'/
gotta add em'/
can't subtract em'/
And with math metaphors, that's cool, right?
now i'm whilin' and spazin/
the smoke from the fifth/
Now, my conception of what a Fifth is a large bottle of alcohol, 750 ml to be exact. Urban dictionary seems to agree. Now why would smoke be coming out of your fifth? Is it possible that Maino doesn't know rap slang as well as me, a confirmed white person? Naw, it must mean something else too. English is such a wonderfully flexible language.
the shells in the grass/
and they can only see/
my eyes from the mask/
Oh, I get it, it's a FOUR-fifth, a gun. Nice creative use of slang Maino.
all the way to cali/
what's poppin my G/
I really run brooklyn/
nothin poppin but me/
get weed on gates/
and killers in ft. green/
platinum vision/
and lamborghini dreams/
hustle hard baby/
we move like the baddest/
black bandannas/
you see us we throw them flags up.
(chorus)
Ok, that was pretty lame, whatever. Finally the song is drawing to a conclusion. But not before Jadakiss comes and actually murders the track. The track is killed by him and the song has no choice but to end after that verse because it is dead. In respect to his (comparative) greatness, I will give you this part of the song un-commented-upon.
Verse 5 - Jadakiss
Yo, D block is D block/
no it ain't a rock band/
they had to kill two baby gators/
just to make my watchband/
out come the hammers/
yeah, then the shottis come/
devils meet up 4 times/
then the bodies come/
big bank/
little bank/
yeah imma take it all/
i could get the block aired out/
If I make a call/
so go ahead with your bad self/
'kiss keep his swag on/
you ain't gotta ask me, ask Self.
(chorus)
Wow, I did it and I wasn't afraid of disapproval. Now maybe you can too! Let's take this moment of great success to contemplate how Jim Jones is a talentless void.
Some people say to me, when I ask them why they don't like rap music
"HUUUURGH I'M INCREDIBLY STUPID DURF FURFLE SCUMPF"
Just kidding folks, they only say that very rarely. The kinds of things they do say are
"I just don't get it"
or
"The lyrics are so bad"
which are both obvious codes for
"I can't understand black people when they talk and am afraid to admit this"
Don't worry lil rap neophyte, I'm here to explain why it's ok to not completely catch the meaning of every word in your favorite club banger.
1) You are not supposed to understand everything. Really, they know that they're not speaking articulately, they could if they wanted to. The way that people rap is more an expression of their chosen style and flow than it is about their actual ability to form coherent sentences. It's an artistic decision, if you will.
2) A lack of understanding is desirable. Music sometimes loses it's allure when you know exactly what every line is. This is why eminem, for example, blows. You listen to the album once, you hear exactly what he's saying, every word of it, you laugh at two or three of the jokes, and then you never listen again. Why? Because the mystery is completely gone. Most people don't rap along to their favorite songs the same way they sing (I do this, it's embarrassing to everyone involved), so there has to be some kind of incentive to listen to something a few times. When every time you listen to a song you pick up a little more of what it's about, or understand some previously unknown slang, or catch a funny punchline that you previously missed, you get that joy of discovery and you want to listen again.
3) It's not that important. People over-emphasize the position of lyrics in music in general, but especially in rap. I could listen to Timbaland's Shock Value all day, not because I enjoy hearing Timbaland oafishly bumble the vocals, but because the beats are sick. As judgmental as it may sound, a lot of rap music is not made for depth listening, it's made for the club, the car, the parking lot; someplace where you just need something that sounds good in the background.
4) Sometimes it really just makes no sense at all. Take a line from Turn my Swag on, in this song soulja boy says this:
"Walk into the dealership
add another wheel to my collection of pink ships"
You can kind of figure out what he's saying; he's buying another car. But I unequivocally assure you that Pink Ship is not slang anywhere for car. He is just making it up because he needs something rhyme with dealership and he's lyrically talentless. The thing is, by it's very nature, rap needs to rhyme. In order to get the message across you have to force some pretty poor word choices. This is also the reason for some of the development of slang and the proliferation of nicknames. Do you think it's a coincidence that 'Crunk' rhymes with 'drunk'?
Now that we've got that all cleared up, I have a confession to make. I stopped writing that TFS article not because I was fed up with Jim Jones (although this was a major contributing factor), it was because I was transcribing the lyrics and I couldn't understand the fucking noises coming out of him. After serious reflection I've realized this is nothing to be ashamed of and have reasoned that Jim Jones is just using nonsense syllables to desperately fill his verse. Or maybe he's just referencing something I am not remembering or aware of. It happens even to the best of us (me, I'm the best of us), sometimes you just don't get something.
So, here, following this sentance, is the rest of "THAT FUCKING SONG"
Verse 3 - Jim Jones
I didn't note this before, but here the chorus changes dreadfully to more Jim Jones
I woke up kinda bad/
From the champagne/
Said prayer, thank god for wakin up/
Yeahhh, we gettin' money.
I hopped in my Ferarri/
Dropped the top/
I hit the club and told my nigger turn it up/
Yeahhh, we gettin' money.
I'm thirsty/
I'm hungry/
I need a big, big plate of that money/
We party/
Ferrari/
we drop the top and we laugh hardy hardy/
I am seriously considering stopping this again, but I press on for you! For the humble would-be rap listener who quivers in the darkness with fear. Fear not little one, I will be brave for you. I will openly admit I do not know what the fuck he's saying here.
I'm a dreamer/
Shoulda seen us/
flooded to water so much I need FEMA/
It goes Jim Jones tell em'/
Kal! Go! That's my DJ/
(this is it, the line I don't understand. Please let me know if you have an idea of what these here syllables mean)
Stepped up in the spot/
Self had it rockin' up for sheezey.
(chorus)
Verse 4 - Maino
I get bulletproof love/
All the thugs love me/
hands down i'm the realist nigga in the country/
Alright, who the fuck is this guy, I've never heard of him and he's marginal at best. I wish people would stop claiming to be the best. (Unless they're Jay-Z)
your arms to short you lames could never touch me/
you really think I'm gay?/
oh yeah? Go head and fuck me./
Ahahaha, did someone write a blog about Maino and make him upset? But seriously this reads like a craigslist M4M personal ad. He is literally inviting you to come and fuck him. No Homo tho.
I'm rollin'/
This is my life, it's not a song/
This is another cliche I could do without frankly.
I really pack guns as long as my right arm/
I'm a problem/
Oh I get it, he's Everyrapper, a rapper made up of nothing but cliche's.
can't solve em'/
gotta add em'/
can't subtract em'/
And with math metaphors, that's cool, right?
now i'm whilin' and spazin/
the smoke from the fifth/
Now, my conception of what a Fifth is a large bottle of alcohol, 750 ml to be exact. Urban dictionary seems to agree. Now why would smoke be coming out of your fifth? Is it possible that Maino doesn't know rap slang as well as me, a confirmed white person? Naw, it must mean something else too. English is such a wonderfully flexible language.
the shells in the grass/
and they can only see/
my eyes from the mask/
Oh, I get it, it's a FOUR-fifth, a gun. Nice creative use of slang Maino.
all the way to cali/
what's poppin my G/
I really run brooklyn/
nothin poppin but me/
get weed on gates/
and killers in ft. green/
platinum vision/
and lamborghini dreams/
hustle hard baby/
we move like the baddest/
black bandannas/
you see us we throw them flags up.
(chorus)
Ok, that was pretty lame, whatever. Finally the song is drawing to a conclusion. But not before Jadakiss comes and actually murders the track. The track is killed by him and the song has no choice but to end after that verse because it is dead. In respect to his (comparative) greatness, I will give you this part of the song un-commented-upon.
Verse 5 - Jadakiss
Yo, D block is D block/
no it ain't a rock band/
they had to kill two baby gators/
just to make my watchband/
out come the hammers/
yeah, then the shottis come/
devils meet up 4 times/
then the bodies come/
big bank/
little bank/
yeah imma take it all/
i could get the block aired out/
If I make a call/
so go ahead with your bad self/
'kiss keep his swag on/
you ain't gotta ask me, ask Self.
(chorus)
Wow, I did it and I wasn't afraid of disapproval. Now maybe you can too! Let's take this moment of great success to contemplate how Jim Jones is a talentless void.
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